Which Book Description?

Readers, I need your help! I’ve been working on my book description and I have two so far. I want to know what you think of them. Which description would sooner make you want to read a book? Also if you have any other comments about them, please comment below. Any comments are welcomed.

Book Description #1

Johnny Cardinal grows up detesting white people. They condemn him because of his skin color. He succumbs to the circumstances he has no control over and becomes what they thought he was. His only regret – the disappointment in his mother’s eyes and missing his siblings’ lives.

Eric Thompson grows affluent but desires the love his parents fail to give him. He makes mistakes trying to get it and entraps himself with his mistakes. His lackluster marriage is on the brink of death and it’s all his fault.

Both men need to be set free from the bitterness and guilt that entangles them but are too stubborn to see it for themselves. They are both about to make grave mistakes. Can they get over their prejudices to help each other and finally be set free?

Book Description #2

Johnny Cardinal grows up with hard times but changes his life and starts on the path to success. His brother is shot in a drug deal gone wrong. He grows up without a father and is the man of the house. Living in the inner-city of Winnipeg doesn’t give him many options to succeed and he starts taking drugs while in junior high.

Eric Thompson grows up with everything but is on the path to destruction. His lackluster marriage is falling apart of his own doing. His son, born out-of-wedlock, is questioning his love for him just like he used to do for his own parents.

Their lives entwine when one man’s survival becomes another man’s charity case. But who is the one needing the charity?

Help Wanted! Critique Partner

Help Wanted?

Help Wanted? (Photo credit: brizzle born and bred)

I am in need of a critique partner, or at least someone who is willing to critique my work.

What I was thinking was to send (preferably via email) a few chapters at a time to someone who would critique my work and send their feedback back to me so I could better improve my writing as well as the book I’m currently working on. Feedback could be in the way of things I need to change or improve on, where I need to add more detail or even remove detail, or even ideas you think might work in the story. I’m wanting almost any feedback you can give me.

I am willing to critique another’s person work if they want me to do this.

At this point, I’m not sure yet if I’m willing to pay for the critique but I am willing to listen to ideas you have on being paid as to how much and with what.

If you are willing to critique my work, please contact me whether on here directly or by emailing me.