In honor of Valentine’s Day approaching, I have decided to write a blog post to singles. As a single, you may have felt like me at times and left out. Feeling like you don’t know where you belong with everything that the world throws us about relationships.
It happens all the time in churches. A book I read recently, titled Table for One: The Savvy Girl’s Guide to Singleness by Camerin Courtney said this about singles being misfits in churches.
…I’m afraid our churches, in an effort to counteract the decay of the family unit in society, have almost overcompensated so that family equals church and church equals family. This sounds fine until you try to factor in singles. Where do we fit in on Sunday morning? Sadly, sometimes we’re left to conclude that we don’t.
I’ve experienced this lately in my own church. In the past month or so, I’ve noticed how much time and effort they put on marriages and family. A little over a month, my pastor did a sermon on marriages. I found it very easy to tune him out because it didn’t apply to me at all. I’ve also seen in our prayer & praise section in our bulletin prayers for marriages and families.
One day I decided why should we just pray for those who are married. Why not pray for singles? We need prayer just as much as others. I emailed our church’s secretary who puts together the bulletin to pray in a prayer request for singles. The following Sunday, I watched closely to see how my church would respond to the request.
I was pleased that they had included the prayer request in the bulletin. However, I was disappointed when it came time for the person who was leading the service to pray through the requests. He added couples and families into the prayer and he started with them. He turned the meaning of the prayer into something different than I had intended and I was quite disappointed.
I could write a lot more about this topic but that is besides the point. For those of you who are single I encourage you to celebrate your singleness this Valentine’s Day. Don’t let it be about wishing you had someone to share the day with.
Do something special for yourself this Valentine’s Day. Do something you enjoy doing. Spend time with friends. You want to pig out on candy and chocolate, do it! Who’s stopping you? (In my opinion, cinnamon hearts are the best part about Valentine’s Day anyways and I don’t need a man to enjoy those :)). You could even write a list of things that are great about singleness.
Here is a list of my favorites from the book I mentioned before. Some of these are specifically for females but some can also apply to males.
- We can make spur-of-the-moment plans.
- And when we do, we don’t have to call home and check with anyone to make sure it’s okay.
- We can squeeze our toothpaste tube any ol’ way we want to.
- We can read in bed as late as we want to without the light bothering anyone.
- We can hog the covers, the closet space, the ice cream, and the remote.
- In winter, we can go weeks without shaving our legs and no one knows.
- We’re still allowed to notice cute boys.
- We can talk aloud to God while we do the dishes…and no one looks at us funny. (This could also be talking aloud to ourselves as well.)
- We can wear sweats to bed and no one’s disappointed.
- We can play with, cuddle, and spoil other people’s children, then give them back when they get whiny or poopy.
- There are no in-laws to attempt to get along with.
- We can go where we want on vacation.
- All the hairs in the tub drain are ours.
- Our toilet seat is always down. (I have four brothers so I know the annoyance)
- The joy of Me Nights.
- There are a few less balls to juggle (a husband and kids) in this fast-paced, multipressured world.
There are more great things about singleness in the book so I encourage any single girl to read it.
What would you add to this list? If you’re married or in a relationship, you can add things too.
This Valentine’s Day, I will be eating cake (it’s my brother’s 24th birthday the day before), spending time with my dog (it’s his birthday that day) and maybe I’ll watch a movie by myself because I can. And eating cinnamon hearts of course. 🙂