Grow Into Your Identity

Vincent Bethell Self Aware Placard

Vincent Bethell Self Aware Placard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I believe there are those of us who focus too much on our identity. In North America, I feel like someone who does not focus on their identity is an anomaly.

We constantly are fed lines about who we should be and what we should do. We are told we are nobodies if we aren’t rich and/or famous. We go through identity crises more than once because we have to try to “find” ourselves.

Like, really? Where did we go that we need to “find” ourselves? Was I abducted by aliens and switched with an imitation me?

We constantly focus on me, myself and I and live on a stage. We are real life actors who play a part in the movie called life. Continuously fooling others into thinking we’re someone we’re not.

We also fool ourselves into believing we’re someone we’re not or that the person who is really us isn’t actually us at all.

We try to categorize ourselves into boxes and categorize others as well. We pick and choose which parts of us are really us and which ones are only acts when in actuality we are a lot more complex than we believe.

I, personally, have probably had an identity crisis since I was ten years old when I started doubting whether I was worthy to live and be called a human being.

Since then, I’ve wondered many things about my identity. Am I the outgoing, friendly, happy person I am when with my friends or am I the shy, quiet girl when around people I don’t know very well? Or, perhaps, am I the loud, angry, aggressive girl I often am with my brothers. Or then again, could I be the introspective, crazy, sometimes depressed person I am when by myself? Who am I really?

I act different, depending on who I am with or who is around. Which one is the real me?

Per chance, they are all me. Do I have to simplify myself into only one category or can I be in different categories based on the situation I am in?

Perhaps, I will never know the “real” me or at least not fully know her but my identity doesn’t have to be one-faced. It can have many facets to it with each one being one more piece to the puzzle.

I have depended on others to tell me what my identity is. I have allowed them to put me in a box and I didn’t fight to get out of that box but rather let the box confine me.

The past three years, since leave high school and going to college, I was allowed to escape from the box and redefine who people saw me as. It was a chance for me to grow into my identity rather than letting my identity shrink into the box I was put in.

Identity can be a wonderful thing but we don’t have to let it define us instead we should just live and be who we were meant to be.

Don’t allow others to define your identity but rather let your identity find you.

I have a lot to learn about not letting others define my identity but I’m working on it.

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2 comments on “Grow Into Your Identity

  1. I agree that people use their identity too often to define themselves. Your identity should really just be a way of understanding yourself. You may never know the “real you,” but, little by little, you learn what you like and don’t like, what works for you and what doesn’t, and your identity helps you figure that stuff out. Your identity should never be something that limits you, though.

    • Angela says:

      I totally agree. I struggle with my identity a lot but I have been realizing recently what you’re saying and I’m trying not to focus on my identity too much but rather live my life.

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