Alpha Women and Beta Boys

I found this article by Mary Kassian intriguing. Alpha Women and Beta Boys

The article talks about the alpha woman and beta man and how in a marriage this doesn’t always work. It is hard for the woman to switch from being the main breadwinner to being the submissive and loving wife at home. More and more women in North America are finding themselves being the main breadwinner in the family and this takes a toll on their marriage and they aren’t satisfied.

They either gripe on their husbands to earn more money because they don’t like the strain it puts on them or they act like the alpha woman and expect their husbands to give them more power. This sometimes results in the man to back down and be the beta boy.

I feel like I’ve been raised in a household where I was supposed to be the woman but not in a way where I was taught that I couldn’t do some of the things men do. I had a role and my brothers had a role. They weren’t necessarily the same but that doesn’t mean they meant any less.

That’s why I’m not so sure about the feminism thing. Sure, it was great that we, women, got more rights and are treated more equally with men but that doesn’t mean we are exactly the same. We were made different. If we were exactly the same that would almost be a scary world. So, in a way I agree with feminism but there are also lots of things about it that I don’t agree with.

I don’t know about you guys (male and female) but I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I know it may not work out that way but in the past couple years when thinking about what I’ve wanted to do with my life, I always tried to keep that in mind. If I were to do this career, would I be able to take off fairly easily to stay home with my kids? If the answer was no, it was a red flag to me that maybe I shouldn’t go for that career.

I want kids. This desire has always been there but it has grown especially since I went to Mexico and spent so much time with children. There have been times I’ve told myself that I would be okay with the possibility of not getting married but I’m not okay with the possibility of not having children.

So maybe I’m a little old fashioned but I’m okay with that. I want to get married and have children. I’ve imagined myself cooking, cleaning, raising my children and loving my husband. I also want my man to be a man and I’m perfectly fine with him being the breadwinner. Knowing myself, I would probably be like one of those women who are not satisfied with being the breadwinner and would get irritated with my husband if I had to work during the day and then come home to clean, cook and raise the kids.

But kudos to those who can do this and are satisfied with it.


2 comments on “Alpha Women and Beta Boys

  1. Johnny Ojanpera says:

    I think the traditional family setup works for many because it has been practiced for so many generations. It is what we are familiar with as Americans. I recommend defining these things as you go. Roles should be fluid; it has worked for us for 18 years. 🙂

    • Angela says:

      True. It has been practiced for many generations and not every family situation is the same so for some the traditional way works best and for others a different way works in their situation. So every couple will need to find which way works best for them. I believe there does need to be some balance and that even if the husband and wife have different roles that they are open to helping each other in their roles as well. They both can contribute to every area but they both contribute differently because they won’t think exactly the same. This is my opinion and you would have more experience in this as you’ve been married for 18 years and I haven’t. Thank you for your insight!

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