Introversion is From This World and Not Wrong

tumblr_mfrlgpSLjm1rb8prjo1_500Being an introvert in an extrovert world is hard. It’s grueling work and often leads to introverts believing there is something wrong with them.

I am an introvert. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told to talk more. Or how many times I’ve been made to think that there was something wrong with me because I prefer to spend time alone, read a book and/or write. I’ve had people look at me like I’m from a different planet because when they asked me what I was doing, I told them I was writing. My brothers bug me because I read so much. My dad has even commented on that I have too many books. I’ve had people ask me if I could be loud because they had never heard me be loud before.

The Western world is geared towards
extroverts. Classrooms, offices, even theintroverts-comic
media overload we get. Extroverts often look at introverts as if they are from another planet because they don’t want to interact with people all the time. They’d rather be alone and read a book. Extroverts can’t understand this. Because of this, introverts often think that there is something wrong with them.

I do this to myself as well. I’ve been asked many times if I have any exciting plans for the weekend or for the evening and I tell them no unless I have something planned where I will be hanging out with people. I’ve been led to believe that unless I am socializing with people, it’s not exciting. If I don’t have plans to hang out with people, my plans aren’t exciting. Yet, to me, my plans energize me, whether I plan to read a book or two, watch a hockey game or one of my shows on TV, or even getting things done that I know need to get done and I want to get them done.

introvertIn schools now, they give away marks for being extroverted. Whenever I saw that I was going to get marked for participation, I cringed inside. You mean I’m going to get a lower grade just because I don’t talk as much as the extroverts? Participation marks made me mad sometimes. As an introvert, I need to process what I hear before talking so in class discussions, by the time I had thought of something to say they were past that point and it would make no sense to say what I had been thinking. This happened quite often and there were times when I would not even pay attention to the discussion because I knew I would never have the chance for any input. So, of course, I would get a low grade for my participation.

I would also cringe when I say that there was going to be a group project in class. I would have much rather done the assignment by myself and take on the extra workload that it would have meant. In group projects, I either found I did everything or contributed nothing because I didn’t speak my opinions. I’ve ended up failing two group projects in myintrovert-manifesto
school life (which are the only two assignments/tests/exams I’ve ever failed in my whole life). One was because I wouldn’t speak up and take charge of the assignment when my opinions would have differed from the three guys’ in my group. Another assignment I failed was because my partner didn’t let me help and then by the time she wanted me to help, the assignment was late and I had no time to do it. So forgive me if I don’t like group assignments.

Here is a TED Talk video that talks about introversion which my brother sent me a while ago and now I recently listened to again.

We, introverts, need to embrace our introversion and not the extroverts make us think there is something wrong with us because there is not we are just different from them.


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4 comments on “Introversion is From This World and Not Wrong

  1. […] Introversion is From This World and Not Wrong ( […]

  2. cyndie lou says:

    angela, i am searching for an answer to a question. will you forgive, or allow a person back into your life if you feel wronged, or hurt by them? i met a wonderful guy, dont love him, but because i didnt understand his ( your) personality type…i am afraid i have made him mad, and i went from being a delightful friend to a royal pain. this saddens me. can you give me any advice on this situation. i have not contacted him, and i am hoping someday he will contact me again. is this useless thinking on my part? there is no dou t in my mind you will be honest with me, what have been your experiences in this area?
    thank you in advance for any insight. he is my first introverted friend…that i am aware of.
    cyndie lou

    • Hey Cyndie Lou,

      For me personally, it depends on how I feel wronged and what my relationship with them was before. If I had a good relationship with them beforehand I will be more likely to forgive them and brush it off. But if I didn’t have that great of a relationship with them prior to the incident where I felt hurt, I would be less likely to forgive them but I wouldn’t tell them. I rarely tell people when I’m mad at them.

      My advice to you would be to contact him and apologize, especially if you know what you said or did that hurt him. If you take the initiative and contact him first, it would probably mean a lot to him and it would show him that you actually want to put the effort into the relationship, even if it is just as friends. From personal experience, I sometimes find it hard to contact someone unless I have a specific reason to and it means more to me when they contact me first.

      Hopefully this helps you, even just a little.

      Angela Suzanne

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