On Saturday, I had a Grad 2010 girls reunion. I dreaded going to it. We had only graduated high school three years ago but I hadn’t talked to many of them since then. I also knew how much I had changed in these three years after high school that I wasn’t sure how much they had changed too and in what way they had changed. I didn’t want to revert back to my old self while I was with them and I didn’t know if I would still even get along with them. I also had always felt like an outcast while in high school. I don’t think I ever really was but I always felt like it probably because I wasn’t outgoing nor talked enough. I was never really invited to things once we reached high school. I also never had a cell phone back then so I often didn’t hear about things until later. But because I had told some people that I was going to go, I had to. That’s just the kind of person I am. Once I make a commitment to something or someone I stick to it.
So, I went, although I definitely had some symptoms of my anxiety half an hour to an hour before leaving. When I arrived there were only a few people there although there were only nine of us girls in our graduating class. Right away, I found out that I wasn’t going to retreat back into my old self. I talked a lot more than I did back in high school when with a group and I said things that I probably wouldn’t have said before because I would have been too scared to say them.
Overall, I enjoyed my time. We talked and said what we were all doing now. We ate snack and had a fire. Around the fire, we roasted marshmallows. We talked about former classmates from our years in school and from our graduating class. Our school was fairly small so we knew everyone in our class. We reminisced about stories and events that happened throughout our school years.
At one point, someone asked if we wished we were back in high school. I honestly had to say no. I don’t really miss it because that was back when I would cry myself to sleep and I felt like an outcast and it bothered me. I’ve grown so much since high school, even though it was only 3 years ago and who knows where I would be today if I hadn’t grown and reached out about my struggles. I don’t even want to think about where I’d be if I hadn’t taken some of the steps I’ve taken.
Without some of the steps I’ve taken in the past three years,I may very well be six feet down with my body wasting away. I also wouldn’t have met some of the people I’ve met over my three years at SBC and met all those wonderful people.
So no, I do not wish I was back in high school but I did enjoy reminiscing and hanging out with people I haven’t since high school and still being the me I walked out of SBC as.